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The 12 Days of Rhumba
By: Claudia Nix
This
is from an email I sent to a friend and fellow Basenji owner during the
Christmas season in 1998 when Rhumba was just a year old. Rhumba was on a
Holiday Rampage that year.
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On
the first day of Christmas Rhumba gave to me--
A wise man with his face chewed off (not such a wise man after all! - says
John)
On
the second day of Christmas Rhumba gave to me`
2 gashes in my new couch
and a wise man with his face chewed off
On
the third day of Christmas Rhumba gave to me-
3 piles of chocolate throw up
2 gashes in my new couch
and a wise man with his face chewed off
On
the fourth day of Christmas Rhumba gave to me-
4 chewed-up family stockings (everyone's but hers!)
3 piles of chocolate throw up
2 gashes in my new couch
and a wise man with his face chewed off
On
the fifth day of Christmas Rhumba gave to me-
FIVE MINI STROKES!
4 chewed-up family stockings
(everyone's but hers!)
3 piles of chocolate throw up
2 gashes in my new couch
and a wise man with his face chewed off
On
the sixth day of Christmas Rhumba gave to me-
6 hours of non-stop screaming
FIVE MINI STROKES
4 chewed-up family stockings
(everyone's but hers!)
3 piles of chocolate throw up
2 gashes in my new couch
and a wise man with his face chewed off
On
the seventh day of Christmas Rhumba gave to me-
7 instances of selective hearing
6 hours of non-stop screaming
FIVE MINI STROKES
4 chewed up family stockings
(everyone's but hers!)
3 piles of chocolate throw up
2 gashes in my new couch
and a wise man with his face chewed off
On
the eighth day of Christmas Rhumba gave to me-
8 piles of stuffing from Jack's toy Santa
7 instances of selective hearing
6 hours of non stop screaming
FIVE MINI STROKES
4 chewed-up family stockings
(everyone's but hers!)
3 piles of chocolate throw up
2 gashes in my new couch
and a wise man with his face chewed off
On
the ninth day of Christmas Rhumba gave to me-
9 feet of tape pulled out of my It's a Wonderful Live video
8 piles of stuffing from Jack's toy Santa
7 instances of selective hearing
6 hours of non stop screaming
FIVE MINI STROKES
4 chewed-up family stockings
(everyone's but hers!)
3 piles of chocolate throw up
2 gashes in my new couch
and a wise man with his face chewed off
On
the tenth day of Christmas Rhumba gave to me-
10 teeth marks in my cinnamon scented candle
9 feet of taped pulled out of my It's a Wonderful Life video
8 piles of stuffing from Jack's toy Santa
7 instances of selective hearing
6 hours of non stop screaming
FIVE MINI STROKES
4 chewed up family stockings (everyone's but hers!)
3 piles of chocolate throw up
2 gashes in my new couch
and a wise man with his face chewed off
On
the eleventh day of Christmas Rhumba gave to me-
11 reasons to be Jewish
10 teeth marks in my cinnamon scented candle
9 feet of tape pulled out of my It's a Wonderful Life video
8 piles of stuffing from Jack's toy Santa
7 instances of selective hearing
6 hours of non stop screaming
FIVE MINI STROKES
4 chewed up family stockings (everyone's but hers!)
3 piles of chocolate throw up
2 gashes in my new couch
and a wise man with his face chewed off
On
the twelfth day of Christmas Rhumba gave to me-
12 pangs of terror when I think of next year
11 reasons to be Jewish
10 teeth marks in my cinnamon scented candle
9 feet of tape pulled out of my It's a Wonderful Life video
8 piles of stuffing from Jack's toy Santa
7 instances of selective hearing
6 hours of non stop screaming
FIVE MINI STROKES
4 chewed up family stockings
(everyone's but hers!)
3 piles of chocolate throw up
2 gashes in my new couch
and A WISE MAN WITH HIS FACE CHEWED OFF!!
**whew!**
And
how stupid am I to waste all this time typing this when the little
monster is in there stalking the other 9 members of my nativity scene!
The
scary
thing is...all this destruction is true except for the quantities I
have
listed. And even scarier
still...she just has to wag her tail once
and
she is forgiven! An angel may get
his wings every time a bell rings
but a sucker is still born every minute! Talk
to you soon.
I'm
still REALLY mad about my couch!!
~Claudia
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